It’s college football Saturday. In this part of the country, where the Southeastern Conference (SEC) dominates the landscape, college football is like religion. For most of the SEC schools, football is the show – pretty much all there is to do in town. How else could you explain Jordan-Hare stadium in Auburn, Alabama (population 53,380), having a seating capacity of 87,451? That would be like Yankee Stadium seating 12 million people.

In this year’s college football preseason poll, five of the top ten teams were from the SEC, and the two top teams this week are Alabama and LSU — both from the SEC. Teams from the SEC have won the last seven national titles; two each for Alabama, Florida and LSU – and one for Auburn. No national titles for Tennessee, not since 1998 anyway. The Vols’ sixth national championship came 14 years ago in the post-Peyton Manning era, with a quarterback named Tee Martin leading Tennessee to a 13-0 season. Martin, who had a short but undistinguished NFL career, is now a wide receivers coach for a decidely non-SEC team — the USC Trojans.

On the field, the SEC rocks the house; it sends more players to the NFL than any other conference. Off the field (in the classroom), not so much; with a 60 percent graduation rate, the SEC is the second-worst academic conference in the country.

But like most right-thinking Americans, I am not at all interested in the intellectual capabilities of the players on the field. I like my football violent, in high-definition, on a large screen, with bubbly, blonde, bouncy cheerleaders on the sidelines.

So, when I’m home in La Quinta, Sarah (ginormous Tennessee fan!) and I make a point of watching whatever SEC game is on TV every Saturday throughout the fall. But this Saturday, I’m caught in a football no-man’s land — sitting on a Harley with hours of riding ahead of me.

In Spartanburg, South Carolina, where we begin our day, Wofford College (Southern Conference) takes the week off before playing Elon University in North Carolina next Saturday. No football here today 😦 So, we leave Spartanburg, knowing we’ll be on the road all day, unable to catch up on the scores until we get to our destination: Conway, South Carolina.

Conway’s football team of choice is Coastal Carolina University (Big South Conference). When we arrive in Conway, our timing couldn’t be better. Tonight, the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers play Toledo and the game is on ESPN3! So, incredibly, we don’t even need tickets, just a comprehensive cable package at tonight’s motel. We’d consider going to the game, but alas, it’s being played in the Glass Bowl in Toledo. Ohio.

For the record, a Chanticleer is a proud and fierce rooster that dominates the barnyard.

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When in the South, you can’t (or shouldn’t) pass up too many opportunities to eat at the Waffle House. As the company’s website says, “We are not in the food business … We are in the people business.”

This morning, Ray and I are not in the people business; we are in the food business. We’re looking for breakfast. The Waffle House in Spartanburg, South Carolina, is only two blocks from the Motel 6 where we bunked last night, so we check it out. You gotta love the selection at this place, and its convenience. Click here to view the Waffle House menu. The Waffle House has more than 1,600 locations in 25 states — mostly in the South. Fromour home in La Quinta, the closest Waffle House location is Phoenix, Arizona – where there are 13 of them. Not a single Waffle House in California 😦

Interesting side note about the Waffle House: FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency, has an informal metric known as the “Waffle House Index.” The Waffle House Index determines the impact of a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for disaster recovery. The measure is based on the reputation of Waffle House restaurants for staying open during extreme weather, and for reopening quickly after severe weather events like tornados or hurricanes.

The Waffle Index has three levels:

• Green: the restaurant is serving a full menu, indicating the restaurant has power and damage is limited
• Yellow: the restaurant is serving a limited menu, indicating there may be no power, or only power from a generator, or food supplies may be low
• Red: the restaurant is closed, indicating severe damage

I am not making this up.

Today, the Spartanburg Waffle House is completely in the Green zone. The only possible damage is to our digestive systems.

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Before we leave Spartanburg, I should remind you of some of the notable names from this city:

• Hank Garland, legendary guitarist who played on the records of Patsy Cline and Elvis, among others
• William Westmoreland, Commander of US Forces in Vietnam during the 1968 Tet Offensive (I was 17 years old when the Tet Offensive began on January 30, 1968 — making me undraftable at the time)
• Al Rosen, all-star third baseman for the Cleveland Indians and two-time American League home run leader

After breakfast, as we leave Spartanburg, we pass by the Greenville-Spartanburg International Airport (GSP). It’s the second-busiest airport in South Carolina (after Charleston), serving 1,755,509 customers in 2011. Nearly 200,000 of those passengers flew to Atlanta on Delta. The airport last year received an ANNIE award from the publication “Airline and Airport News & Analysis,” for being the fastest-growing small airport in the US.

On our left, a few miles south of the airport, we are reminded again of BMW’s presence in the community. We pass by the Carolina Country Club, which – along with two other area courses – hosts the annual BMW Pro-Am in May. The event is a Buy.com tournament, won this year in a playoff by Australian Nick Flanagan.

We ride south on SC-215 through Pauline, South Carolina, on our way to Whitmire. Pauline is a tiny, unincorporated town, barely a speck on the map. It’s worthy of mentioning, if only to share the story of how the town got its name. Until the 1890s, Pauline was known as Stribling. The community took the name “Pauline” when it tried to name its post office and the name “Stribling” was already taken; “Pauline” was the first name of the postmaster’s daughter at the time.

We continue south from Pauline, and head for Whitmire, South Carolina, in the center of Sumter National Forest. Turning south on US-176 (the Whitmire Highway) takes us directly to Whitmire. This forest consists of more than 370,000 acres. The Sumter is named for Thomas Sumter, a leader of patriot regular and military forces in the South Carolina piedmont during the American Revolution.

As we ride this morning, a once-a-year astronomical event occurs: the Autumnal Equinox. At 10:49 am in the Northern Hemisphere, the sun crosses the celestial equator, signaling the beginning of fall. Equinox comes from the Latin words for “equal night.” Today, day and night are almost exactly the same amounts of time. We’ll have 12 hours of each. It’s all part of the Earth’s annual trip around the sun. That’s not only astronomical; it’s epic! Welcome to fall.

Starting tomorrow, the daylight portion of each 24-hour period begins to get shorter. You can enjoy fall for the next three months, until the Winter Solstice, officially the shortest day of the year. Winter in the Northern Hemisphere begins on December 21 at 6:12 am. On that day, the sun will be directly overhead at high noon. The 2012 Winter Solstice will be the earliest winter arrival since 1896.

And, that’s your science lesson for the day — with one postscript: the official first day of the climatological fall, as mandated by the World Meteorological Organization, is always September 1, local time, for the Northern Hemisphere. Much of the rest of the non-USA world observes the climatological milestones rather than the astronomical ones. So, for example, it’s already been fall in Europe for the past three weeks. Americans just gotta be different.

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At the southern end of Sumter National Forest, we head east on SC-34 (the Catawba Trail), ride through Winnsboro, cross I-77 and come to Ridgeway, South Carolina, where we stop in to a charming place for a mid-day snack.

We visit Laura’s Tea Room, which is serving High Tea. I think of my English friend, Judith (“The Queen”), who would enjoy Laura’s Tea Room. Hard to believe you can go to Hugh Tea in the South, and in a tiny town at that.

But Laura’s, for $21.95, gives you tea, a scone with Devonshire cream, a salad with homemade dressing, a bowl of soup, quiche, and a three-tiered tray with sandwiches and desserts. I think it’s a six-course event, and the ladies in Ridgeway wear their finest outfits — dresses and hats. Ray and I are severely under-dressed, so we avoid the Tea Room and eat downstairs on the main floor. I had unsweetened ice tea … which, for me, is almost like high tea. Close enough.

From Ridgeway, we continue east on SC-34 for 45 miles, riding through Lugoff, Camden and Bishopville. We pass signs every few miles, reminding us that SC-34 is part of South Carolina’s hurricane evacuation system. It’s a good route to commit to memory; hurricane season is June 1 to November 1.

We pass through Darlington, South Carolina — best known for its car races, including the Bojangles Southern 500 NASCAR event. Bojangles is an interesting name for a race. The Urban Dictionary defines bojangles as “a bouncing male package, preferably balls of large size and proportion.” Bojangles is also a restaurant in the south where you can get fried chicken and iced tea that’s 99 percent sugar. The Darlington race is apparently sponsored by the Bojangles restaurant chain, not by a confederation of scrotums.

Click here to learn more about the Bojangles 500, including a countdown to the May 11, 2013 race — less than six months away. If you can’t wait till 2013, click here to see highlights of the 2012 Bojangles 500. Spoiler alert: Danica Patrica didn’t win. She continues to do much better and be way hotter in GoDaddy.com commercials than on the track. Click here for a GoDaddy TV ad that shows why being pulled over for speeding is not all bad.

From Darlington, it’s a short drive along US-52, southeast to Florence, South Carolina. During the Civil War, Florence was an important supply and railroad repair center for the Confederacy, and the site of the Florence Stockade, where Union prisoners of war were held. For you ultra-sophisticates, Florence is also the capital city of the Italian region of Tuscany, where it’s known as Firenze.

All day long, we pass by what seems like several churches every mile. Places of worship around here proliferate like Starbucks in Seattle. It’s not unusual to see a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Penecostal church, and others all bunched together. What you will not see is a Jewish synagogue. My people are apparently rare in the South. Which reminds me … I had a nice email today from my uncle (Bob), wishing me a happy new year. So, to the few MOTs (members of the tribe) reading this blog, happy new year to you, too. The goys among you probably would find this too religiously esoteric, so I won’t explain. Google it, or find a neighborhood rabbi to ask.

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From Florence, it’s about an hour to Conway, South Carolina, where we’ll call it a day. Conway is one of the oldest towns in the state. Originally named Kingston, the town was created in 1734 as part of Royal Governor Robert Johnson’s Township Scheme. It was laid out on a river bluff, on the western banks of the Waccamaw River. Many buildings in Conway are on the National Register of Historic Places, including the City Hall building, reputedly designed by Robert Mills. Mills is way better known as the architect of the Washington Monument.

One building in Conway without any of those bona fides is Radd Dew Bar B Que Pit. That’s where we dined. The only thing that’s history here is my rib dinner. Sorry, no menu available. Radd Dew, in business since 1960, is listed among the top 100 barbecue houses in South Carolina. Very exclusive.

With my ribs, I have fries, which is appropriate for a Harley ride. It’s been said that the sound if a Harley is reminiscent of potatoes. A Harley makes a potato-potato-potato sound. My Danish friend, Tom, calls my Harley a “potato machine,” or kartoffelmaskine in Danish. You probably need to be a Dane or Harley lover to get that.

We’ll call it a day here in Conway. Luxury accommodations tonight are at the Econo Lodge ($54.99 tax) on Church Street. Prayer is optional.

***

Day Two Summary: Green Waffle House index, Perils of Pauline, and Mr. Bojangles. Go Chanticleers! Total miles for the day: about 270.

Click here to view today’s entire route, from Spartanburg, South Carolina, to Conway, South Carolina.

What will tomorrow bring?